For a marginal fee, we'll draw you or a friend into a haiku and feature it on our site, where it will be preserved forever like Walt Disney's cryogenically preserved corpse.  Unlike the Men's Wearhouse, your haiku comes with the explicit guarantee that you will not like the way you look.

And, despite being a traditional Japanese art form, a personalized haiku is perfect for occasions of all cultures:  Bar Mitzvahs (Jewish), cremations (Hindu), Hajj (Islamic), birthdays (American) and layoffs (Global).  So don't hesitate.  Purchase your custom haiku today.